if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
Drunk packed a lunch. Made two turkey sandwiches and threw in a bag of raw bacon. Gold star for the day drunk self.
I want to fling myself into the sun
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
He's finally divorcing her, so naturally he tells me that we're not exclusive anymore. His penis 'wants what it wants' apparently.
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