when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
Hi Jessica this is Jessica and I am texting you and were taking lime shots and it's fantastic and I broke your elbow and I love you xo
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
Auto correct isn't even working for how drunk you are
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
Randomize