Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
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