Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
you said the mailboxes were turning into babies and they started crawling away. then you cried and asked me how you were gonna get your college acceptance letters
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
Dude i just want you to know that when i found you half your mustache was already gone. I didn't do it.
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
Randomize
