it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
bring money and cleavage
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
Randomize
