why didn't you poke me back
I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
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