this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
Randomize