yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
She left you responsible for her guinea pig for what, 3 hours? And it somehow died under your care? I will no longer trust you with so much as a beer.
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
When i was leaving for work this morning, i realized the neighbor was passed out drunk, with no pants, and a half eaten whopper on my lawn. Knowing that hey..we have all been there before.. i decided to give him a pillow and a blanket rather than wake him up.
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
Randomize
