You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
My dad just told me he used to masturbate to cat woman...he then proceeded to beat my brother in beer pong and wont let me play...
is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
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