She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
I feel like I've been hit by a train. I woke up this morning covered in wine, free condoms, and a sign language dictionary.
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
I JUST WOKE UP WITH MY UBER DRIVER
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
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