we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
I woke up this morning and I couldn't find my coffeetable. wtf?
...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
They pay me enough to pretend to be either helpful, or heterosexual. If they want both I need one hell of a raise.
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
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