He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
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