I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
I have just been informed that my company has ray guns. I WORK FOR ACTUAL BOND VILLAINS. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
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