biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
it's not cheating when I paid for it
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize
