I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
Took 45 minutes to masturbate. Fuck you Zoloft. I'm never gonna be diagnosed with depression again
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
He was so drunk last night. He woke up out of a dead sleep at 330am, walked over to the dresser, opened his middle drawer and proceeded to pee. When I woke up and asked him Wtf he was doing, he told me it was fake pee and blamed it on the cat...we don't have a cat
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