I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
I haven't been this unsober in a long time. I feel like I am observing myself. Like I am a test subject for alcohol. I wish my brain would shut up and let me be a normal drunk.
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
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