yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
im going to hold it over his head for all of eternity. when his children are born i am going to go to the hospital as his wife is giving birth and shove the picture in the childs face, so the first time they see their father is in a drunken stupor looking like a jackass.
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
Dude, I work in two hours. Unless you can find Chris Hemsworth and convince him to have a three-way with us, I'm not getting out of bed.
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
Randomize
