Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
What is this red stuff in a water bottle in my fridge that's labeled "not for baby turtles"?
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
Every fourth of July I get sentimental when I think back to the one where we drove around baked off our asses crashing multiple cookouts listening to Team America's "America, Fuck Yea" on repeat. I miss us.
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
Randomize
