You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
so he let me use one of the toothbrushes that came in his daughters 4 pack, purple glittery toddler toothbrush, the next time i came back his wife has used their label maker and put my name on it...
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
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