Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
Randomize
