He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
I'm on tinder and every time somebody says something too creepy for me I start quoting scripture at them. My boobs are like missionaries.
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
Randomize
