SEEEEXXX PLEASE
My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
Do me a favor. Next time I think it's a good idea to take pulls from the handle, yell "FALCON PUNCH" and uppercut me in the taint. My future liver thanks you.
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
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