You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
I just gave my mom some ones that look like they've probably been in some strippers cooter. Oops.
Haha. Just tell your mom not to smell them
Hey mom, most of this money I'm giving you is in ones. Don't ask why and whatever you do don't smell them.
Sounds legit to me.
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
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