I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
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