Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
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I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
Well, I found the missing blow... in my fucking suitcase... THIS MORNING. Yeah, I flew from FL to NY with blow in my suitcase yesterday.
I told you to check, dude
Yeah, AFTER I checked my bag and I was already sitting on a plane. Oh well. I figured worst case I'd do like 15 hours in county and I was totally prepared for that anyways. I always prepare for that when we hang out.
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
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I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
I just sucked dick on a ferry
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
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