Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
I wish there was a tumbleweed emoji. Because that would describe my vagina.
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
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