We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
You went through my pantry and left one of everything in the box. One cracker. One cheesit. One piece of cereal. I really fucking hate you.
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
Must've forgot to hang up with her when I was telling Josh I plan to pop champagne if I nail her tonight. She showed up with a bottle and said "only if we can toast it with Josh"
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
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