guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
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