Why do guys in porn never have boxers on?
better question: why do you always text me when you're watching porn
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
Randomize