That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
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