Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
Public service announcement: if you would like to continue receiving blow jobs, a 25% increase in fuck-giving will be expected immediately, and you're expected to give an actual flying fuck at least once a week. Brought to you by the ad council.
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
FML I accidentally sent the text about his bruised balls as a group text that included his brother and my boss.
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
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