i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
Netflix keeps asking me if I'm still watching just because I've been sitting here all afternoon...why do I feel like my tv is judging my life choices?
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
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