We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
I started singing the national anthem on a train in London. Happy 4th of July assholes
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
You'll have to pretend I'm texting you with buddychecks.
Like the Jimeny Cricket of cockblocks.
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
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