Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
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