Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
do you still have a key to my apartment? Without going into too much detail locked myself out naked on the patio, currently using a deck cushion to cover myself so kids walking home from school dont see me
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
I just had a horrible epiphany. I have fucked girls younger than Star Tours
This text was so worth waking up to
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
Randomize
