Only a mothe r could love this liver
I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
Randomize
