when a girl says 'did you just try to kiss me' you should leave the bar. trust me.
the best days in LIFE are when you realize you arent pregnant
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
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