Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm bringing cupcakes to work today as an apology for my actions at the bar last night, my boss probably can't look at me the same ever again
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
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