Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
I'm instituting a new rule. If you wake me up at 3am about wrinkled blankets, I get to throat punch you
I'm smoking pot with a man in a pink suit, size 15 wide shoes who bought his bowl from a place called Chinese Bling Bling while I'm dressed as a unicorn drinking pumpkin beer
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
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