I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
WAIT YOU’VE NEVER BEEN TO COSTCO???
COSTCO IS MAGICAL
I can’t believe you two made a group text to scream at me about Costco.
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