I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
sarcasm needs its own font
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
I just had to go dumpster diving, at 3am, in the rain, because I realized that I somehow threw away the brand new package of birth control pills I picked up from the pharmacy this afternoon. So I'm sort of a responsible adult.
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
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