Most the numbers in my phone are mistakes. It's a virtual graveyard of people I should never pick up for.
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
A giant panda just asked me for a cigarette and said "man pandas gotta smoke too." There is something wrong with this place.
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
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