how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
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