At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Randomize
