You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
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Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
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That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
My husband just came over to kiss me and said, "careful, I got a block of cream cheese in my pocket"
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
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