This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
