i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
Randomize
