We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
Randomize
