please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
Randomize
