my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
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