"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
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