I saw an Asian dude carrying a patchwork denim purse get into a car with two rednecks at the grocery store tonight. Imagine what I could have seen if I had actually done something interesting.
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
Alive.
So much puke
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
When are your genitals available?
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
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