I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
We don't watch enough power rangers
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
Randomize
