we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
Randomize
