Hey it's Austin.
I am not drunk enough for this conversation.
worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
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I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
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