it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
Randomize
