was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
I've started drunk signing up for 5ks. Who even does that?
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
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