Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
Randomize
