haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
don't bother texting me at 10. my pants WILL be off and I'm not putting them back on to come see you.
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
Randomize
