hotel room ftw
it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
Ugh I realized he only responds to my snaps when I’m eating a popsicle
Why are male brains so small?
Randomize
