it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap.
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
Randomize
