Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
Randomize
