whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
I'm experimenting with sincerity
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
Randomize
