I am puke
i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
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