The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
there is cereal in my wallet where all the cash used to be.
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
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