And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
The only good thing about 2020 is that the hot flight attendant neighbors are using my pool a lot. If i can keep them from wandering into my Zoom meeting with my boss I’m golden
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