life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
Randomize
