he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
I'm on a cruise to the Bahamas and this text message is gunna cost me $10 but I need you to pray on my behalf for the things I'm about to do these 2 girls and what I did last night to a 35 year old mother of 3.
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
Randomize
