I must be too annoying 4 u.
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
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