no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
Favorite thing said to me in 2012: It's like you have two tongues!
Were you keeping a list?
I spent most of the stoned conversation with my dad proving to him that the Newfoundland is an actual dog and NOT a Snuffaluffagus-esque figment of my stoned imagination, while laughing over the fact there is actually a place caller Dildo, Canada. Have YOU taken time to be a good dad today?
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
Randomize
