omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
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